A sum of small conversations
I’ve been speaking a lot about the power of conscious and unconscious communicatioins in driving people’s performance. The effect of small gestures and asides have a powerful impact on others that extends far beyond what you might think it possible. Recently though, I remembered my experience with a former manager and it brought home to me just how insidious those conversations can be, especially if coming from a leader, manager or someone in a position of authority.
Years ago in ...
Five Ways to be a Smart Leader
I feel a bit silly here. Since my book was published, I’ve been writing and speaking a lot about different aspects of leadership but still haven’t shared the actual model that was the framework for my whole book!
The SHAPES model shows the interrelated pillars of leadership excellence, inside a context for integrity that translates into success when action is taken. There are too many nuances for a single blog, but I’ll start with one element. Since it is intuitive to start at ...
Are you a beast or an eagle?
While most of us aren’t crazy, we all have an incessant internal dialogue running in our mind. At best, we can attain a sense of inner calm that enables us to manage the voice and choose our dialogue. In calming ourselves, we become more aware of external events of the moment and less caught up in our own thoughts.
Why is this so important? Because, in essence, we are two different selves or forces – our irrational, reactive self and our logical, responsive self. I’ll call ...
Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
A young woman was lamenting to her mother about how hard life was for her. It seemed as soon as one problem was solved, a new one arose. She was so overwhelmed that she didn’t know how she was going to continue.
Without saying a word, her mother filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire until they came to a boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans.
In about twenty minutes she turned ...
Do you listen or just hear?
My 14 year old daughter has gone deaf.
I don’t mean clinically or even functionally. I suspect it is more ontologically. She has willed herself to not hear anything she’s not interested in.
Maybe it’s a teen phenomenon; however, I think it’s more of a human condition.
We’re all a bit ontologically deaf. While we may physically hear what someone says to us, do we really listen?
According to neuroscientists, we don’t. We only really pick up what we’re ...
